Advice for Fidel

Cuban ferry hijackers executed - state TV - Apr. 11, 2003 prompted me to allow my thoughts to wander… mostly about Castro’s current position and what he could do to change the situation.

Firstly, rather than execute dissidents and those trying to leave the country illegally, Castro should do a complete 180 and encourage such migration. That’s right, open up the borders and let everyone come and go as they please, especially the exiles who still have family in Cuba. Adopt the UN Human Rights resolutions and let everyone enjoy all the Human Rights you can possibly supply. And do this with a smile, it’s something nobody in the entire world would expect and you’ll have the element of surprise in your favor. The United States, regardless of their posturing, would hate that, believe me. Especially in light of their detention camps over there in Guantanamo Bay. They would have no clue how to respond without looking like cruel imperialists.

Secondly, immediately and without hesitation, the island of Cuba should be turned into “Party Island.” This is the vision that the United States corporations had for your country 50 years ago, only they wanted to keep all the profits for themselves… instead, Cuba would rake in the profits. Drugs, gambling, prostitution, drinking good Cuban rum, and smoking Cuban cigars, and every other victimless vice should be legalized and encouraged (and taxed!) in Cuba. Encourage the Cuban farmers to grow highly potent marijuana, tropical fruits, and other exotics, and you would soon see people flying in from all over the world willing and ready to support such an economy. The United States would also hate this.

Thirdly, get busy building resort properties with your legal income from all those vices. Organize international conferences, festivals, a Latino music and film industry, and other such activities. Make everything cheaper than it is in Florida or California, and Cuba could easily become the next Daytona Beach and bring in billions in tourist dollars. While you’re at it, you might want to think about the cruise lines… make deals with those folks (most of them are not registered in the US) to transport tourists to your island at a greatly reduced fee. The United States would definitely have a cow over their loss of tourist dollars, and would also hate this.

Go for it, Fidel! Quit being such a horrendous dictator, make the changes above, and soon your economic problems will disappear. *grins* Ok, maybe not quite like that, but if you really want to piss off the United States and the conservatives of the world, this would be the way to go about doing that.

PS : There’s a rumor going around in British circles that Saddam Hussein is in Cuba. I don’t believe that, but it’s an interesting rumor at least. It, as well as biological wmd rumors, would certainly be justifications for Bush-led military action there, wouldn’t it? Stay tuned, it’s getting rather messy.

PPS : In the meantime, individual States in the US (Maryland and North Carolina, et. al.) are each negotiating private trade agreements with Cuba in hopes of exporting more and more of their goods to the country, which flies in the face of existing US embargoes against trade with Cuba. No one seems to say anything about that, yet annually some 20,000+ illegal tourists to Cuba come back to the US only to find letters from the US Treasury demanding they explain their travel to that country… and they face fines of up to $75,000 each.