This Isn’t An Argument, It’s A Contradiction

G R E E T I N G S Gemini

Arguing with others will give you a sense of where you stand. Arguing with yourself undercuts most of your solid ground. Your emotions won’t let you discard a completely impractical idea. Surely there must be a way to use this strange invention or misfit concept to which you have such a strong attachment. Your internal logic makes little sense to the outside world. Others can’t really tell you what to do, although you’re welcome to seek their advice. If nothing else, their lack of understanding encourages you to back off until you’re better equipped to face this thing.

My “internal logic” seldom makes sense to anyone, but that’s hardly surprising since most people are dualists if they are logical at all. Arguing with others only shows me where I stand in their eyes, not my own; people trying to tell me what to do, when they can’t understand my internal logic, is usually a wasted effort on their part. Arguing with myself is something I do all the time; it’s how I reach decisions and come to conclusions about whatever the current problem bothering me might be. The result of all of this self-examination is that, though I can often work with or deal successfully with other people, there are times when I cannot and there is no finger-pointing of blame as to ‘why,’ it just ‘IS.’ My current dilemna has little to do with anyone else, though they are seeing and feeling the effects of what I’m going through. Needless to say, I’m somewhat bitchy today. If you’re reading this and wondering what it is that’s bugging me, I’ll tell you…

It’s Death. The baby bunnies died today. And I don’t know why. There is never an ultimate answer to ‘WHY?’ for the really heartbreaking things in life.

I don’t deal well with Death. I never have and likely I never will. I have lost so many beings who were special to me and I still cannot deal with it. I realize it’s inevitable. I also realize it’s not something I can do anything about. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it, or that I have to paint a smiley face and pretend that everything is hunky-dory when it’s clearly not.

Advice from others won’t help me a bit on this one. Prayers to unseen gods or goddesses won’t either. I’ve already tried a shrink, and after hearing my life story, the man was on the verge of tears himself, so obviously he could relate to it, but that’s about as helpful as he was. So now, I deal…